Monday, January 25, 2010

Debt and Debtor, or When Timmy Met Benny

Sure, they're intellectually stunted, sartorially handicapped, and stranded in perpetual adolescence, but their grasp of economics rivals that of Ben Bernanke and Timothy Geithner: Dumb (Lloyd) and Dumber (Harry) live it up on money "borrowed" from a blackmailer.

What is this? Where's the money?!?

as good as money, sir. Those are IOUs. Go ahead and add it up; every cent's accounted for. Look -- see this [holds up a note written in magic marker]? That's a car. Two-hundred-seventy-five thou. Might wanna hang on to that one.

-- Lloyd Christmas, the cretinous friend of imbecile Harry Dunne, tries to placate armed and agitated blackmailer Nicholas Andre after spending the ransom money.

A moment's reflection is sufficient to convince an honest person that Harry and Lloyd, the cerebrally challenged duo featured in "Dumb and Dumber," were engaged in exactly the same kind of racket -- albeit in microcosm -- as the one run by the Federal Reserve System and its political servitors.

In substance, the worthless, crudely hand-printed rectangular slips of paper Harry and Lloyd had stuffed into
Mary Swanson's briefcase were every bit as valuable as the worthless, elaborately decorated rectangular slips of paper the Fed insists are "as good as money." The same is true of Treasury Notes -- that is, official IOUs emitted by the Regime in Washington. It's also true of the corporate paper issued by the corporate beneficiaries of the Fed's most recent investment bubble -- such as the great corporate vampire squid called Goldman Sachs, to choose an example not entirely at random.

"I expected the Rocky Mountains would be a lot rockier than this": Dumb and Dumber pose in front of the Grand Teton Mountains during a retreat with the Power Elite at the Rockefeller redoubt in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Goldman's corporate nomenklatura probably dresses just a bit better than Henry and Lloyd, who dropped several hundred dollars apiece for matching tailored tuxes in powder blue and safety orange.

But the Goldmanites were just as eager to spend other people's money and just as insistent that their unwilling creditors accept a pile of useless IOUs.
Since they're the people who effectively run the Treasury Department, the Goldmanites have the means to force the rest of us to pay off the bad IOUs they received from AIG when that rotten pillar of the corporatist establishment was rescued by the federal government in 2008.

Newly released e-mails document the "frenzied" efforts made in September 2008 by Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner -- at the time the capo in charge of the New York "family" of the Federal Reserve mafia -- to arrange a taxpayer-backed bailout of the worthless AIG insurance and investment conglomerate.

Then-Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson was a former Goldman CEO; as head of the New York Fed, Geithner was a Goldman retainer, and Goldman was among the sixteen "counterparties" with the largest exposure to AIG's worthless paper.
So it comes as a surprise to nobody that Geithner's most urgent priority in bailing out AIG was to make sure that the "counterparties" weren't left to absorb the financial consequences of investing in the firm's junk derivatives. This is why he and his comrades at the New York branch of the Fed arranged a "backdoor bailout" for Goldman and other unnamed beneficiaries by way of AIG. The details of that secret swindle were literally treated like a matter of "national security."

A Reuters report discloses that Geithner and his comrades at the New York Fed "were only comfortable with AIG submitting a critical bailout-related document to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission after getting assurances from the regulatory agency that `special security procedures' would be used to handle the document.'"

The SEC helpfully suggested that the critical information be filed under a special seal and then deposited "in a special area where national security related files are kept," with the information restricted from public inspection until 2018. I suspect that the really critical details of this arrangement were discussed by the principals in a room accessible only through a biometric scan, in conversations protected by the cone of silence.

If the term retains any useful meaning, and assuming that we're permitted to use it without being subject to official reprisal at the hands of Cass Sunstein, the Obama junta's commissar for Correct Thinking, this arrangement can only be described as a conspiracy.

Furthermore, this particular plot -- which was dragged into the light by the House Committee on Government Reform -- displays to good effect the practical definition of the term "national security." No, that phrase has nothing to do with protecting the rights, property, or well-being of the hoi polloi; it refers instead to the preservation of the plundering class and its interests from the people at large.

Another illustration was provided last week when Goldman announced its corporate "earnings" for the final quarter of 2009 -- a year that saw
the actual unemployment rate soar to 22 percent.

Everything Goldman "earned" last year was the product of officially sanctioned theft and fraud at the expense of the beleaguered productive class, which is confronting the prospect of extinction.

Just before the heads of that criminal enterprise gave a public account of their illicit haul, the syndicate's headquarters were surrounded by police.
The problem here is that rather storming the building and frog-marching the perps into waiting paddy wagons, the police were on hand to erect barricades to protect them from their victims.

From its inception, the USA has been an unwilling host to a self-perpetuating Hamiltonian elite that lusted for a seamless merger of politically favored corporate interests, the banking cartel, and the government. That desire was finally consummated in the September Revolution of 2008, in which Congress -- amid overt threats of martial law -- surrendered the keys to the public treasury to Wall Street. As a result, we are now living under a fascist kleptocracy of remarkable purity. Granted, it has yet to mature fully into an undisguised totalitarian despotism, but the advent of such a system will not be deferred so long as to try our patience.

So profound is Washington's depravity that its conduct makes that of overtly fascist governments look positively moderate by comparison.

About a year and a half ago, Cristina Kirchner, the Peronist (which is to say, fascist) president of Argentina, decided to nationalize that country's private pension system. The pilferage took place in broad daylight: Legislation was submitted to the National Congress and duly enacted -- but only after a public debate that banished any residual doubt that this was an undisguised theft of private property by an insolvent government.

"We don't have any doubt that this is violating the right to private property," observed Argentine Senator Ernesto Sanz. Latin American political analyst Claudio Loser referred to the "nationalization/expropriation of Argentine pension funds" as "one of the most blatant acts of financial piracy in the country's recent history."

The confiscation of at least $30 billion in private pension funds by Kirchner's robber state took place in October 2008 -- just shortly after the Bipartisan robber state in Washington set in motion a much grander exercise in larceny.

Only the hermetically sealed clique fronting the criminal syndicate called the Federal Reserve System knows how much was stolen from the public for the benefit of Goldman Sachs and other politically protected banking interests after the Fed's speculative bubble exploded.
For all of this, the appetites of the parasite class remain unappeased, and its servants in the government ruling us are casing out a target for another heist: Specifically, the Feds are examining the possibility of staging an Argentine-style raid on private pension funds, now that the re-inflated market has restored them to a plunder-worthy size.

Unlike the hijacking carried out by Argentina's neo-fascist government, however,
Washington's version would occur by way of executive decree, without even a semblance of legislative deliberation.

As Wendy McElroy summarizes, Geithner's Treasury Department "is officially formulating ways to force a portion of
every 401k/IRA account into `fixed payment annuities' -- that is to say, into long-term Treasury bonds. In other words, your retirement dollars would be converted into government IOUs.... The money-grab at your retirement will begin modestly -- e.g. with just a small portion of your retirement converted -- and then, like government itself, it will expand."

Once again, Treasury is poised to do this administratively, without further Congressional action. Just as Bush and his successor claim essentially limitless "war-making" power based on the September 2001 "Authorization for Use of Military Force," Hank Paulson and Timothy Geithner claim that the September 2008 TARP legislation provides cover for any act of wealth redistribution deemed suitable by the Treasury Secretary, aka America's Economic Dictator.

Doing "God's work" by plundering the powerless: Goldman Sachs Chief Commissar Lloyd Blankfein

Granted, the Feds have been stuffing suitcases full of IOUs for decades in the form of various non-existent "trust funds" for Social Security, highway maintenance, and the like. However, this new proposal would treat privately held retirement accounts as collective property.

The funds stolen from those accounts would be used to write long-term IOUs in order to help the Regime continue to float the short-term IOUs necessary to keep wealth flowing into the coffers of its corproatist clientele.

Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein, who has described the machinations of the bankster elite as "God's work" (this is true, assuming that the deity he refers to is Plutus), insists that Goldman's architects of financial fraud as "among the most productive people in the world." Assuming that Blankfein and his ilk consider lucrative deviousness to be a species of productivity, he might have a point.

As Sinclair Lewis observed decades ago, such people make "nothing in particular, neither butter nor shoes nor poetry." What will happen to them when there's nothing left to steal, the currency collapses, and the division of labor breaks down?

While it's likely that they've already made contingency plans to flee our looted and wrecked country in search of new populations to afflict, we can at least hope that a few of them will be caught on the way to the airport and forced to share in the misery they've arranged for the rest of us, or maybe treated to some personalized misery of our own design. Such thoughts provide cold comfort amid the destitution descending on our land, but the way things are going I'll take such comfort wherever I can find it.


(The original version of this essay erroneously used the expression "Goldman employee" to describe the significant but complicated relationship between the company and Timothy Geithner when the latter was head of the New York Fed. My thanks to commenter Isaac Stanfield for highlighting that inaccuracy.)

Important Programming Note

I've been honored with an invitation to be a guest tomorrow on Judge Andrew Napolitano's Freedom Watch webcast.

Be sure to join me each weeknight for Pro Libertate Radio on the Liberty News Radio Network.

Dum spiro, pugno!


Unknown said...

Fox news meets william grigg?

Sweeet! I would that I actually knew how to turn on my t.v. its been so long since I watched it. I actually think the on button may be broke...

I'm sure you will do great, and by the end of the broadcast fox will be calling you to ink a 5 year deal for your own show.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Will. We all know you'll be great.

I recall reading in one of the JBS (yuck) bulletins from the past year that Art Thompson wrote a long article about Hamilton, and even though he did give lip service to the fact that Hamilton wanted a central bank and was for the corporatist system, he also said that Hamilton realized that the Illuminati were trying to infiltrate the government and that Aaron Burr was an illuminatus, and that is why he challenged him to a duel. He dragged on and on about how Hamilton was the first person to openly fight this conspiracy.

It seemed suspect to me at the time, and even more so now. Could you elaborate or clarify this? Or point me in the right direction to find out for myself? Thanks.

Good luck tomorrow, knock em dead.


Anonymous said...

"Goldman Sucks employees are the most productive in the world". The level of hubris emanating from this fuckin leech is breathtaking.
I work in the forest products industry and would love to take this slimy suit out onto one my landings in northern NH for a day. Crews typically start at 430 a.m under lights in below zero temps and bust ass all day until quitting at anywhere between 530 and 600. Now that is productivity. Something these sick parasites have never known. When the full fury of anger and frustration of the working class is unleashed upon these swine it, unfortunately, will make the French Revolution look like child's play.

Anonymous said...

Goldman Sachs and it's operatives within the Fed, with it's tentacles deep within the rest of the governments bowels, is directly responsible, along with others in its class of Ratus-Americanus, and they have the cajones to then be part and parcel to the "rescue" of the disaster they engineered? Seriously! It's long past time for hangings to commence on an industrial scale. Let them burble on about "law" and such, let them unburden their soulless shells before spinning off this mortal coil by admitting where all the skeletons are buried and then let the bodies hit the floor. Long long overdue.

Anonymous said...

Harry is Dumb.
Lloyd is Dumber.
It's a scientific fact.

dixiedog said...

Look forward to you being on Freedom Watch tomorrow, Will.

On another front, digest a load of the initiatives to help the so-called "middle class":

Obama Proposes Tax Breaks for Middle-Income Americans
"Biden defined middle-class as a family of four with an annual income of about $85,000."

Almost everyone I know doesn't meet that so-called "middle class" definition.

Obama announces initiatives for middle class
"The proposals to be unveiled by Obama and Vice President Joe Biden at the White House include a doubling of the child care tax credit for families earning under $85,000; a $1.6 billion increase in federal funding for child care programs and a program to cap student loan payments at 10 percent of income above "a basic living allowance."

Dependency is pandemic already and this puts it on steroids. Can you think of a better incentive to not make the arbitrary "basic living allowance?" Since morality is on its last legs in this country, I can see the sheep doing just that.

"Obama will also call for caps on some student loans, limiting a borrower's payments to 10 percent of his or her income, and forgiving all remaining debt after 10 years of payment for those in public service work—and 20 years for all others."

Oh wee! So if you get in debt with student loans, you'll be "graciously" limited to 10 percent of yearly income in payment obligations. [taking steps to lower blood pressure now]

And if you're an employee of Leviathan or one of its tentacles you'll be forgiven of all remaining debt after 10 years, but if you're a sob from the private sector, you have to slog it out for 20 years. WTF!!??

In either case, however, the real "rub one raw" point is that remaining debts are eaten by the real middle class taxpayers.

I'm damn tired of hearing/reading "the law of unintended consequences" that one sees/hears so much of today. It's as if these folk are bona fide stump brains.

Heck, we could excuse it all, in that case, if they really were "stump brains" and likely these kind of policy prescriptions would never be enacted in the first place, halted by someone up there with a modicum of intelligence. But no, that's not how it is!

After all, the plunder class are not "hicks from the sticks" (if only they were!), but are "college boys" just like those who spout this "clueless" "dumb" nonsense the loudest. They have reached pinnacles of power by cunning, deception, ambition, and intellect.

It's really called evil intentions. They are a determined lot and absolutely intend to reshape the social order to their liking by any means possible.

Why do folk want to irrationally transmogrify the terms "evil," "wrong," "depraved," etc. into innocuous terms like "clueless," "dumb," "stupid," and other thoroughly excusable conditions?

Anyway, may you do well on the show tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Since you pretty well nailed this one (once again) my only comment is:

How appropriate, two boobs (Paulson/Geitner) posing with the back drop of the 'Big Boobs' (as I understand the history behind the naming of the Grand Teton's).

In Male Fide
Sic Semper Tyrannis

Darryl Jakes said...


Lemuel Gulliver said...


"Thus, the game is limited to two players between two corporate parties. One is the Republican Party, which believes we should hand over our lives and resources directly to the local Chamber of Commerce, so the chamber can deliver them to the big corporations. The other, the Democratic Party, believes we should hand our lives and resources to a Democratic administration -- so it alone can deliver our asses to the big dogs who own the country. In the big picture it's always about who gets to deliver the money to the Wall Street hyena pack.

"Americans may be starting to get the big picture about politics, money and corporate power. But I doubt it. Given that most still believe the war on terrorism is real, and that terrorists always just happen to be found near gas and oil deposits, there is plenty of room left to blow more smoke up their asses. Especially considering how we are conditioned to go into blind fits of patriotism at the sight of the flag, an eagle, or the mention of "our heroes," even if the heroes happen to be killing and maiming Muslim babies at the moment. Patriotism is a cataract that blinds us to all national discrepancies."

- Joe Bageant, "The Devil and Mr. Obama" - article in "Socialist Review" magazine (UK).


Quote: "As Sinclair Lewis observed decades ago, such people make "nothing in particular, neither butter nor shoes nor poetry."

Wrong, Mr. Grigg - they make money. We fools make all the real stuff that life needs to survive, they make the financial deceptions that suck out the life-force - the blood, the sweat, and the tears - from the rest of the world.

Quote: "While it's likely that they've already made contingency plans to flee our looted and wrecked country in search of new populations to afflict...."

Come on, Mr. Grigg, say what you mean and don't pussyfoot around. They (Geithner, Goldman, Sachs, Blankfein, Bernanke, Greenspan, Lehman, Rubin, Summers, Madoff, Feldstein, Finkelstein, Farbstein, Lipschitz, and Goldfarb,) have no problem being crass, arrogant and insulting - it goes with their self-appointment as The Chosen People Of God. They will not "flee our looted and wrecked country in search of other populations to afflict." They will flee to the beach at Tel Aviv to enjoy mai tais and kosher cocktails served by subhuman animals, (defined in the Talmud as anyone who is not Jewish,) in the world's only nation defined in its laws as an ethnic racial nation, where every Jew in the whole world holds automatic citizenship and is immune from extradition, even if he has shot the President, the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Where is Bernie Madoff's $68 billions? In Israeli banks. When he dies in jail, his sons and his wife will be three of the richest people in the world, behind only Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, richer even than the Wal-Mart heirs.


Lemuel Gulliver said...

I make now a prediction: After he loses his next election, or after 8 years, whichever comes first, Obama before leaving office will pardon Bernie Madoff (if Bernie is still alive), who will then "retire" to Israel to live out his remaining days in style. If you can, store that one up in your mind, and remember: Lemuel said it first.

Benjamin Freedman, ex-Jew, and ex-friend of every powerful and rich Jew in America, said it very well - (and he was speaking in 1961 - our situation is many times worse today):

"The reason is that here in the United States, the Zionists and their co-religionists have complete control of our government. For many reasons too many and too complex to go into here at this time -- I'll be glad to answer questions, however, to support that statement -- the Zionists and their co-religionists rule this United States as though they were the absolute monarchs of this country."

I know this will provoke howls of rage from your other readers, and yes, they will be right: None of this could happen without the willing co-operation of greedy non-Jewish leeches and worms in politics and business, who are happy to accept the crumbs from the table as filthy bribes for their collusion in the Zionist plundering of America.

What happened to our Christian heritage? Go read again Christ's Sermon on the Mount, and ask yourself if this describes America in 2010. No. We have become the Whore of Babylon, the very thing Jesus warns us against. We have only ourselves to blame. There is no more society, no more morality, no more ethics, in America, only the law of the jungle - every man for himself.

How did we get this way? Read the answer of Orthodox Rabbi Daniel Lapin here:

Don't bother to try to follow the link given at that site to the Rabbi's original Web posting - it has been taken down. (Surprise, surprise.)

And finally, this site below demonstrates that 96% of the world's media - newspapers, television, movies and radio - is owned by only six (SIX!) corporations:

And this next link will demonstrate that those corporations are all owned and/or managed by Jews:

THIS is how they get away with their looting and plunder, as described by Joe Bageant, while the rest of America (including their co-religionist dupes,) lives in a stupor of ignorance.

I hope, before your readers rave and howl at me, that they take the time to follow those links. They are absolute gems of wisdom. When I give you a site to visit, it is to open your mind and eyes to the truth, not to disguise the truth.

Kind regards,
Lemuel Gulliver.

Lemuel Gulliver said...


On reflection, I need to qualify my comments. In 63 years of life, and by travel to over 40 countries in many capacities, I have found out this truth: The most generous, the kindest, the warmest people the world over are those who have suffered poverty, hunger and misfortune. The rich, handsome, well-fed and powerful are cold, self-centered and mean. (In general - there are always exceptions.)

The latter type describes America in 2008. Now that we are slipping into poverty and misfortune, thanks to the people described by Mr. Grigg, I am actually optimistec that by 2012 we Americans will have become the former.

I feel a paradigm shift in the wind, especially among the young, in the way we think and in our values and aspirations. I think "the pursuit of happiness" is being redefined in America, even as we speak. I hope our enlightenment will not be purchased at the cost of too much suffering.

Lemuel Gulliver.

liberranter said...


Eye-opening sites indeed. While it is tragic that one particular ethno-religious group seems disproportionately represented among those who are behind the forces of America's destruction, it is also ironic that two members of that group had perhaps the most far-reaching and history-changing impact on the advancement of liberty, an impact that has yet to be fully felt. I'm referring, of course, to Ludwig von Mises and Murray Rothbard, two men who would be absolutely horrified by today's course of events.

You're correct too, I believe, in your assessment of America's 180-degree national character shift over the course of the next few years. It's true that a certain degree of anarcho-nihilistic violence and chaos is certain to follow as the logical outcome of Geithnanke/Berneithner and Company's criminal manipulations of America's money supply. We "common folk", however, will almost certainly discover in the long run (those of us who survive, anyway), that co-operation and community will be the keys to everyone's survival. I also believe that there is a good chance that the armed mercenary legions upon whom the Geithnanke/Berneithner factions are depending for their long-term security will realize this too, leading to very unpleasant ends for their bosses.

Again, I don't have a crystal ball, but a hint of a silver lining makes its presence felt amid all of the adversity.

Sibkiss said...

We will be watching, Will!! I gotta hear this last blog post in your own words on Liberty Radio tonight. I sent Webster Tarpley's letter to my senators. (written to not reconfirm Bernacke)I suggest any listeners might go to his web site and copy that letter.

Lemuel Gulliver said...


You are, of course, right. Here is another Jew, G.J. Neuberger, defining what it means to be Jewish:

"In what way are the Jews a 'chosen people'? Every Jewish man anywhere and at any time when called to the reading of the Torah says, "Who has chosen us from all the peoples and gave us His Torah." This is the way in which the Jews are chosen. The Jewish people are chosen not for domination over others, not for conquest or warfare, but to serve G-d and thus to serve mankind. The task for which the Jewish people were chosen is not to set an example of military superiority or technical achievements, but to seek perfection in moral behavior and spiritual purity. Of all the crimes of political Zionism, the worst and most basic, and which explains all its other misdeeds, is that from its beginning Zionism has sought to separate the Jewish people from their G-d, to render the divine covenant null and void, and to substitute a "modern" statehood and fraudulent sovereignty for the lofty ideals of the Jewish people."

A philosphy like that, if unversally held, would make even me consider becoming a Jew.

Of course, let us also not forget there are a great many people calling themselves "Christians" of whom Jesus would probably be ashamed. Character weaknesses of various kinds are found in every ethnic group.

- Gulliver

Anonymous said...

In the late 1980s, in an obscure Asian-themed magazine published in Boston, I read a very insightful article.

The author pointed out that after the Reagan tax cut of 1986, which lowered the top marginal income tax rate to 28%, the tax rate probably had reached a minimum already. Why take current deductions for tax-deferred pension plans to save 28%, when the tax rate at the time of withdrawal could easily be 50, 60 or 70%? Even tax-free compounding in the interim might not overcome the burden of confiscatory taxation at the time of withdrawals.

With the U.S. still fighting ruinous foreign wars, it's obvious that the Bernanke/Geithner Ponzi scheme is going to be milked to the point of destruction. Every possible source of funds for plunder will be attacked. Tax-free compounding isn't worth anything, if your assets end up being confiscated.

I used to say that the tertiary stage of Usgov's Ponzi scheme would play out over twenty years or so. But after observing the results of the Bush/Obama LooterFests -- namely, chronic deficits of $1.5 trillion on a cash basis, and more like $8 trillion on a proper GAAP/accrual basis -- I now think the final blowout may take less than five years. Needless to say, dollar-denominated assets in the custody of the Wall Street/bankster axis are at grave risk, as all of these institutions function as arms of a desperate, insolvent government.

Don't trust your future to proven thieves, fraudsters and flimflam artists, who have the public prosecutors on THEIR payroll. So long, USA. Hope the Fed-free Version 2.0 works out better than this debacle did.

Isaac Stanfield said...

From the paragraph two paragraphs before the Wendy McElroy quote: "For all of this, the appetites of the parasite class are remain unappeased..." probably should read "class remain unappeased..."

But anyway, another excellent summary of the mess the world is in. Someday there will be blood ("here" rather than "there" for once), but it will be too late to save anyone from the consequences of the empire that too many Americans fervently love and support.

Isaac Stanfield said...

Also, Geithner is obviously a product the Goldman Sachs cabal, but has he ever actually been directly employed by GS?

Lemuel Gulliver said...

Hey Isaac,

Here's Geithner's extraordinary bio from Wikipedia - no, he's not a GS alumnus, but just read this catalog of sins - the same groups of people have been hanging out together and raiding the US Treasury for years, like Bonnie & Clyde, or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid:

"Geithner worked for Kissinger Associates in Washington for three years and then joined the International Affairs division of the U.S. Treasury Department in 1988. He went on to serve as an attaché at the Embassy of the United States in Tokyo. He was Under Secretary of the Treasury for International Affairs (1998–2001) under Treasury Secretaries Robert Rubin and Lawrence Summers. In 2002 he left the Treasury to join the Council on Foreign Relations as a Senior Fellow in the International Economics department. He was director of the Policy Development and Review Department (2001-2003) at the International Monetary Fund. In October 2003 at age 42, he was named president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Once at the New York Fed, he became Vice Chairman of the Federal Open Market Committee component. In March 2008, he arranged the rescue and sale of Bear Stearns. In the same year, he played a supporting role to Hank Paulson, former CEO of Goldman Sachs, in the decision to bail out AIG just two days after deciding not to rescue Lehman Brothers from bankruptcy. According to some observers, Geithner severely damaged the U.S. economy. Geithner believes along with Henry Paulson, that the United States Treasury needs new authority to experiment with responses to the financial crisis of 2007–2010."


Lemuel Gulliver.

PS: Jokes I heard from a Jew:

Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
A: Air is free.

Q: Why did G-d make Goyim?
A: Somebody gotta pay retail.

Q: How d'ya know when a Jewish wife has an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.

Yes, they do make fun of themselves. One day I love them, next day I can't stand them. Oy gevalt. I'm so verklempt. 'Vay iss meer.